I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
