Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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