is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Never let your siblings swipe right.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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