i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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