it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
