so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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