i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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