His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
