Its about making memories worth repressing
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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