wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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