I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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