I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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