Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid. (215): While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/jz3m
  Replies (17) Good night (590) Bad night (2410)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning. http://tfl.nu/dt9p
  Replies (9) Good night (5217) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy http://tfl.nu/kyus
  Replies (16) Good night (4824) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough. http://tfl.nu/noke
  Replies (8) Good night (1261) Bad night (3553)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen? http://tfl.nu/ze7l
  Replies (9) Good night (4513) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops. http://tfl.nu/hm3g
  Replies (1) Good night (1030) Bad night (2443)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I should not be in class today. For the professors sake. http://tfl.nu/6eqj
  Replies (16) Good night (1796) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities http://tfl.nu/0iqe
  Replies (11) Good night (3270) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid http://tfl.nu/fwn3
  Replies (11) Good night (1728) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night... http://tfl.nu/bamz
  Replies (9) Good night (455) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it (773): It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact http://tfl.nu/3h4p
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers. (1-563): I desperately wanted to wear your shirt. http://tfl.nu/ni9x
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom http://tfl.nu/036d
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick" http://tfl.nu/b4qj
  Replies (0) Good night (305) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have. http://tfl.nu/rbrl
  Replies (3) Good night (286) Bad night (367)

Randomize