we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
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We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.