don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.