Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
