The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
