Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
