In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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