Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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