you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
