You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Quick, to the slutcave!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
