break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
