last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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