So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
