My nipple is on Facebook.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type