Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
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dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting