And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just cropdusted the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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