the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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