I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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