I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have aggressive nipples.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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