the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he high fived his dick after we had sex
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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