I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
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she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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