i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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