who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize