I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Someone came in the potted fern
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
