people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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