Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
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We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
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I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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