Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
