so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
