Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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