I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize