Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
