it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize