mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
