he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
