omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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