sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
