I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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