Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
