his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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