I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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