:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
