turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
