Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
