Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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