Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
