She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
