Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
