I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
